Progress while in Rehab

So, here's the deal... last night I went down on my scooter. I'm banged, bruised, strained, scraped, and otherwise not in a condition to "push it hard" for the next few days. This is FRUSTRATING (in addition to painful) because I've been making such good (if slow) progress. Another concern is my eating... when one is in pain and being "pampered", comfort food becomes the norm. There is no concern to calories, or food composition beyond whether it tastes good and provides emotional support.

I will not, however, be cast down or allow myself to let this set me back. No, I will not be stupid and go to the gym and "work through it". No, I am neither that "macho" nor that stupid! I shall take this time to do more holistic self-improvement... yoga, qi gung, and meditation. It all works, and should all be used! As soon as the strains are mended and my torn skin out of bandages I will be back in the gym sweating it out and pushing my limits physically -- until then, I shall push myself in more etheric but not less rigorous exercising.

Dancing with progress

What many people don't seem to realize when you workout a lot and are striving to build a new lifestyle, new body, etc. is that progress is not linear. It isn't even always continually "upward". I generally consider that it works somewhat in a wave, with peaks of progress and then troughs of back sliding. One could consider it a dance of 3 steps forward, one step back. The backslide should never be as large as the gains, but there are days when you just aren't as strong, tough, enduring, as others.

Some trainers (and the military) would say "work it HARDER" at such times, but I believe in honoring the body's wisdom. Does this mean you don't do anything? Absolutely not! It means, don't push for that heavier weight, faster run, more intense effort -- back off a bit and honor your body, say "I hear you; I am listening. Let's just do this!" In the long run, your body and your health will thank you for it!

Envy and Self-Doubt

So I'm pushing 43 years old and am presently struggling to reduce my bodyfat below 20% and my waist size below 39". I eat right, though generally too much of the right foods, workout regularly (3+ days a week), and strive to live a healthy life style. That lifestyle is NOT gym obsessive, nor is it lethargic, but up to this point it has resulted in putting on more unwanted weight (fat) than is acceptable and expanded me beyond my maximum acceptable waist size (35").

So I'm back to the gym more regularly. I am upping my intensity and my time dedicated to physical activity. I am being particularly conscious of my eating, catching myself when I begin to sabotage my efforts by stress eating. I have increased my intake of fruit and veggies, especially local/seasonal foods, exponentially.

My goals are reasonable for my age, lifestyle and dedication.

Yet, for all of that, there are times when I'm in the gym as a far from ideal 40-something, working out with near ideal 20-somethings, and I despair. I think, "I didn't look that good when I was their age... what can I possibly do now?" Negative thoughts have amazing power... far more than positive thoughts in the long run. Why? Because the negative thoughts visit us more often. Even when we manage to stay mostly positive, self encouraging, and appreciative... there is still a little voice just out of view mumbling, "yeah, right."

There is a young man I've seen in the gym numerous times who just hits all my doubt buttons. Not because he is a massively muscled and ripped gym god; he isn't. Not because he is stunningly beautiful; he isn't. He is average height, with a moderate gone structure, an attractive but not arresting face. I will admit that he has beautiful, romance novel cover wavey long, chestnut hair. (but my own hair has been admired for years, so NYAH) What hits my insecurity buttons is that he is simply "that well put together" without the artifice of over development. His physique is attention grabbing without being obsurd, and it is not the "fitness model" form... but advertises that he pays attention to and works to make his body his own.

I envy this young man because he is all I would have wanted to be in my college days (physically).

I can't use him as a target or example to strive for as I could never obtain his style of body -- for one, I've got too much real muscle to ever trim down that far. I am also not so deluded (or depressed) that I believe I can be "20-something" again, physically, mentally, or in any other way. To be honest, I don't want to be. 20-something physical perfection is as much youth as effort. I don't want to be a "youth"; I want to be the best ME, the 40-something me, I can be.

The self-doubt and envy doesn't last... but it does impact my perceptions of myself. Like with my eating, what thoughts I allow myself to indulge in will result in my body (and mind, and spirit). We are what we eat -- physically and emotionally!

Why we climb Mountains!

600lbs on Leg Press Machine

When I began this reboot, my leg press had been at 470lbs. Some people would consider that a great amount of weight; I do not. I know with certainty that 50+ year old grandmothers are quite capable of 600+ pound leg presses (I've watched). At my strongest a couple years ago, I was pushing over 800lbs on the leg press.

I am happy that I have pushed from 470 to 600 pounds within the first month. This has helped me be accepting of the fact that my weight and waistline have not yet diminished significantly. As long as I make progress, I will strive to be satisified.

I consider that in order to be strong, a man should be able to do the following at minimum:

• Bench Press = 1x body weight
• Dumbell Bicep Curl = 1/3 body weight
• Pull Up = 1x body weight
• Row = 1x body weight
• Leg Press = 3x body weight

and I expect a man claiming to be "really strong" to be able to:

• Bench Press = 1.5x body weight
• Dumbell Bicep Curl = 1/2 body weight
• Pull Up = 1.5x body weight
• Row = 1.5x body weight
• Leg Press = 4x body weight

I know that may seem extreme; but I see such displays of strength so regularly in men (boys) whom do not "live in the gym".

I have been asked by several people (all women) WHY I would want to be able to move X amount of weight. My response is: why not? Is there any reason not to achieve such a thing? Once one has enough money to live, why do we want more? If we learn a skill, why do we want to improve our ability in it? I could continue with similar questions that parallel that initial one leveled at me by friends and relations.

Pride is the answer. Pride is not the evil emotion that has become so condemned these days. If we have no pride, in ourselves, in our family, in our friends, in our jobs, in our community, what would the result be? We would not strive to improve anything... we would simply be complacent in our acceptance of what is... we would not even care, I suspect, to even maintain that which we already have. Without pride I believe there is very little fuel to power accomplishment.

I will have PRIDE in myself, in mind, body and spirit. From that pride I will be able to fuel my accomplishments. Take that as egotism if you prefer... I look toward better things!

Goals are like a Compass...

...though I wish they were more like a GPS!

A goal points us in a direction and gives us something to look toward on the journey of life. Without goals, we wander aimlessly and only by chance do we get anywhere (figuratively and otherwise). With a goal in mind, we can strive to accomplish -- we can see ahead, usually far enough to realize we will have to cross rivers or climb mountains or cross deserts. Goals allow us to prepare for obstacles... unfortunately, they don't also convey the best route to travel on the way.

The thing about goals is that there are usually several ways to achieve them. For some, climbing the mountain is no challenge at all, while to others it is an insurmountable obstacle -- yet winding along a treacherous river bank may be quite doable. It is also important to pick goals that are near enough that they can be reached in a finite period of time with a measured amount of effort -- aiming for the stars may result in great achievements, but on the way we have many shorter legs of the journey to complete.

I have chosen my first "goal" on the way to my star of "best health, fitness and appearance I can achieve". I will bust below the 200lbs of weight barrier and tighten below the 38" waist size barrier by Autumn Equinox (Sept 20-22). I will set my next goal once I have achieved this first leg on my journey!

Cautious Progress

I'm not sure how I managed to strain my ankle, as it was done (by all I can figure out) while I was sleeping... all I can think is that I slept with my foot in an odd position for an extended time and tressed the tendons. What ever the reason, I have a tender shin.
This puts me in the uncomfortable situation of not wanting to forego my workouts which are showing progress, but also not wanting to do further injury to my foot/ankle/leg. So all workouts must consider foot positioning, flexing, and what presses against my leg. Still, I can and do manage :)

The most Colorful Plate!

I have come to believe that the majority of one's food should not be comprised of foods that are white, tan, or brown. Grains and starches have been a staple food for ages because it was the easiest to refine into calorie dense materials that can be stored for long periods of time; ale and beer was once a nutrient rich staple food, not simply a libation as it is today. Before the days of canning and freezing, not to mention of preservation and transportation technologies, finding ways to make calorie dense foods which could be kept good for months was essential to survival. Not the healthiest ways to eat; but when faced with starvation, any food is "healthy".

That habit of turning to grain & root based meals is so ingrained (snerk) into us that breaking that habit is extremely hard. I often find myself reaching for a slice of bread, or a granola bar, when I should grab an apple or banana or something a bit fresher and less processed. Even worse, when I do decide to reach for a fruit or vegitable I find myself automatically hunting up something to put it on, in, or to put upon it (yogurt, cheese, a dressing, ice cream, whipping cream). Now, one reason for this is that the average grocery store fruit or vegitable is produced for appearance and spoilage-resistance, not for flavor. When an item has little flavor, one HAS to improve it or eating becomes a drudgery.

This week I bought honeydew melon and tomatos from the local Student Organic Farm. These items did not look "perfect" as one sees in the store, but were exploding with flavor. I picked up heirloom tomatos from our local farmer's stand today, which looked just ghastly, but the meat was nearly burgandy red and made you swoon with flavor. We also got some "donut peaches", which look very funny but are a delicious treat and actually easier and less messy to consume than a standard peach.  I also bought cucumbers and squash, three varieties of sweet peppers, blackberries, blue berries, and eggplant. I plan to spend the weekend enjoying a veritable rainbow of flavors!

I won't enter into the argument about whether the organic and heirloom varieties are "more nutritious" than the mass produced/farmed versions that we have in the super markets... that is an argument for the zealots, not for me. However, I will challenge anyone to provide me with a mass-market fruit or vegitable that TASTES as good as the organic/heirloom varieties!

When you decide to take control of your life -- trust no one!

There are times when I must be reminded that I can't trust that something that LOOKS healthy actually IS healthy. Today was one of those times. I love Panera Bread; it is a comfortable place to hang out with delicious food, coffee and free wifi. That said... I feel betrayed by their food... there is NO REASON for a turkey sandwich to be higher in calories and higher in fat than a BigMac!

After this sandwich, I had no calories left for the day... even though I had eaten very responsibly and consciously prior to dinner. As such I had to be careful what I could eat when I got home -- fruit and veggies to the rescue. I'm glad I decided to check the online nutritional info on Panera food or I would have shot way beyond my daily consumption thinking all was cool!

Remaining Conscious of my eating

the weightwatchers input screen

It is always a challenge to make sure I eat balanced, healthy foods without over-eating. I've found that the more accountable I make myself, the easier it is to keep on target. That is what Weight Watchers Online allows me to do. Nutrisystem allowed that also, and was very effective because all the food was portioned and provided such that one didn't have to think about food beyond making sure I grabbed the right items for each meal. Effective for easy weight loss, but not so good for establishing a healthy lifestyle once one has reached one's goal.

To provide the benefit of Nutrisystem's easy meals, while still encouraging us to be conscious and aware of what we're eating, my wife and I will be creating our own prepackaged meals from more fresh foods each week. We have sealable containers and vacuum sealing system... there is no reason why we can't use those to make easy to grab meals ourselves.

I expect that Sunday nights will end up becoming a cooking fest for either making and sealing complete meals or putting together easy cook meals. Still... it will be healthier (for both body & budget) than prepackaged meals. It should be an interesting challenge for our cullinary skills to keep things delicious, easy, and varied!

Upping my Intensity

calories burned after 30 min on elliptical

In my thirties, especially between 30 and 35, I'd been in my prime. Lean, muscular, and active both in the gym and outside of it. Some time between 30 and 40 that came to an end; I ate more out of stress or rushed need than for providing myself something delicious and fulfilling. I'd become dissatisfied with my life, but it wasn't until I gave up my "old life" and returned to school at age 39 that I started taking positive steps to correct this. However, being a college student in his 40s with a family to support did not eleviate my stress or cause me to think more of my physical health... I had to get my education and find a new job.

I did graduate, and I did secure a job (a discussion best left for another post), but I did not do very well on the healthy lifestyle. I spent the first year after graduation struggling with my new vocation, and building community and some semblance of a social life beyond being a university employee. I was not completely remiss during all this... I had my gym membership and used it sporatically... my wife and I have adjusted our eating habits; though we've found that portion control and conscious eating to be a challenge -- still, we made progress.

I've never been one to succumb to the intense fitness routines and extreme diets so many people use to achieve rapid results. I know that if I don't maintain that rigor, if I approach my change as a temporary thing to achieve a short term goal, then after I've achieved that goal I will return to my prior habits with the same long term results.

3sets x 10reps
hammer curls & shoulder press

So I've always taken a "moderate" approach to my exercising. If it isn't something I can maintain for the long term I wasn't going to do it. However, that moderate commitment has had only "moderate" success. It has certainly kept me from becoming "unfit", but it has not allowed me to maintain a lean, strong, healthy body to the level I would prefer (yes, I do set my standards rather high). So, today, inspired by what a friend does as her "usual workout" (and she looks amazing; hi Kari), I realized that if I want to meet my own standards of physical health then I will need to live the lifestyle that will result in it. It isn't a matter of "everything in moderation" (for the 2nd part is "even moderation") but that I don't want to look back on my life and just be a "moderate success" or have done "okay." I want to look back and say, "hell yeah!" I don't want to spend the next 40+ years feeling like I haven't lived a life as well as my parents did. I want to be able to say I lived as well (and even better), in health, in happiness, and in accomplishment as my parents. I believe it would be a travesty if I could not build upon the excellent foundation they laid for my life.

So, today, I have chosen to "up the intensity" of my life. At the gym, in my career, and in my personal life I will "do it better." When I turned 40, I looked at myself and wondered "what have I done with my life?" When I turn 50, I want to look back and say "I've done a hell of a lot!" Yeah, that means I'll be sore physically, ache mentally, and may become exhausted emotionally at times -- but I won't be bored or disappointed!

Rebooting

In today's socially interconnected media of the internet it is nearly impardonable to do anything life changing without broadcasting it to everyone you know. This defies one of the primary laws of magic, which is to "remain silent", but there is also a law of magic where more common intent adds upon the results of a spell. This compounding of influential intention is also followed in most religious traditions by praying in groups for desired outcomes.

So, in hopes that my efforts will align with the efforts of others to promote not only my own improved healthy lifestyle but that of my entire community (e.g. anyone on the internet similarly inclined), I put forth my efforts in the digital public.

Let's get started!